Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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