She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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