it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
