Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I can feel your judgement through the phone
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Randomize
