Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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