She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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