im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
