My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Randomize
