I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Randomize
