I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
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