Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
my liver is dry heaving
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
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