Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
