Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
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