Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Randomize
