i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
Welp...herpes.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
She needs sedatives and a leash
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
there is glitter all over my balls
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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