Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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