did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
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