he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
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