O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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