Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
This toilet bowl is my home.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
