I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
