I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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