found the other keg... it's in the tree
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Randomize