I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
