I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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