my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
