Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize
