I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
He told me they were just razor bumps!
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
