go do what you do best...puke behind churches
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
