Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Randomize