Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
