So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
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