Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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