you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
the room spins SO much faster in panama
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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