Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
