guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
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