You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
