Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
They have beer where we have blood.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
