Pappa wants mamma naked
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
