I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
