I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
