Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
