we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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