Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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