names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
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