I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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