DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
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