I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
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