you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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