Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
My ass is underappreciated
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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