I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Randomize
