seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
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