the new term for farting is butt boxing.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
