I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
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