You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
