yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
