I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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