I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
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