Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize
