How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
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