Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
You need Xanax blowdarts
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
