Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Randomize
