my sisters under your porch take her home
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Is Oprah even human
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Randomize
