Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Randomize
