question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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