ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Randomize
