Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
She needs sedatives and a leash
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
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