I scissor kicked a one legged man last night.
He was trying to put me in handcuffs.
You have my attention.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
