We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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