I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
