Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Randomize
