I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Randomize
